So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think I am morally bankrupt
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
