Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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