Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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