Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
