I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
