Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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