Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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