I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
