can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
