you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
