I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
