And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I need a beard to bite.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
