okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
