Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
