So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Someone shit on the floor
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
