So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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