shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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