yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
