Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
