I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
