Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Randomize
