I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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