Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
