the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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