garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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