You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
