Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
