BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
