someone owes me an orgasm
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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