Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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