he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
