i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
