My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
