windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
