if you like me you must not know who I am
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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