Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
