you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
