So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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