Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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