Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
