Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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