i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
bring money and cleavage
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
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