you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
