scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
