I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
