You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
