dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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