the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
