Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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