Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
