I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
