So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
